You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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