Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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