Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
