dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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