Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
