easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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