i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This is my gift to your gina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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