Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
