Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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