How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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