naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize