Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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