So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
