Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize