so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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