I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize