you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
