Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
