i just made my gag reflex go away.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
