So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize