I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
