There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
