Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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