The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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