my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
