that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
