I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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