do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
