god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
