One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize