Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
