Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
