Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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