its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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