What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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