And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
