We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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