Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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