i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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