Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
