you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
