Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
