Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
there is glitter all over my balls
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