Quick, to the slutcave!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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