I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
