She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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