This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize