I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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