All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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