im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
