I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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