dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
