Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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