based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just had sex on a roof
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
