ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do vagina's smell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
