Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
