They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize