Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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