its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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