Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
