I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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