I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So vagazzling was a success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
