We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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