chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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