I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
then he tried to convert me to islam
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
