i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
